forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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