Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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