He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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