Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
