New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
