I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
