someone get that fucking seahorse.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
