need another drink. this is the easiest way
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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