Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize