margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
