Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
