Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
