he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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