You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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