i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
