i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
