We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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