you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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