I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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