Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
