Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I enjoy the company of your penis
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
