I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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