C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
