is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
