the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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