dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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