Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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