he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
