I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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