I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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