this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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