I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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