I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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