2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
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