Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
