Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
