Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
