you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
