Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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