Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
