There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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