wat bout pragnant strippers??
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
