worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
