you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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