Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
