well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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