there was a trapeze. enough said
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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