We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
