Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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