Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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