So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
