why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
