Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
