I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
