She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
