My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
