it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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