I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Everything about him screamed your future.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
