so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
