I smell stomach acid.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
