Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
