i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
