yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
